29.12.10

"We all need someone to look at us. we can be divided into four categories according to the kind of look we wish to live under. the first category longs for the look of an infinite number of anonymous eyes, in other words, for the look of the public. the second category is made up of people who have a vital need to be looked at by many known eyes. they are the tireless hosts of cocktail parties and dinners. they are happier than the people in the first category, who, when they lose their public, have the feeling that the lights have gone out in the room of their lives. this happens to nearly all of them sooner or later. people in the second category, on the other hand, can always come up with the eyes they need. then there is the third category, the category of people who need to be constantly before the eyes of the person they love. their situation is as dangerous as the situation of people in the first category. one day the eyes of their beloved will close, and the room will go dark. and finally there is the fourth category, the rarest, the category of people who live in the imaginary eyes of those who are not present. they are the dreamers."

28.12.10

"Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary."

27.12.10

I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.
“I got into bed, opened the bottle, worked the pillow into a hard knot behind my back, took a deep breath, and sat in the dark looking out of the window. It was the first time I had been alone for five days. I was a man who thrived on solitude; without it I was like another man without food or water. Each day without solitude weakened me. I took no pride in my solitude; but I was dependent on it. The darkness of the room was like sunlight to me. I took a drink of wine.”

"She wanted to rise to a level that would allow her to leave behind the discomfort and heaviness… and the deep fatigue that had begun to seep into her bones."

22.12.10

"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait. Do not even wait, be quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice. It will roll in ecstasy at your feet."
"Criei em mim várias personalidades. Crio personalidades constantemente. Cada sonho meu é imediatamente, logo ao aparecer sonhado, encarnado numa outra pessoa, que passa a sonhá-lo, e eu não.

Para criar, destruí-me; tanto me exteriorizei dentro de mim, que dentro de mim não existo senão exteriormente. Sou a cena viva onde passam vários atores representando várias peças."

20.12.10

"I've always assumed that the abstract qualities of the photographs were very obvious. For instance, I can turn them upside down and they're still interesting to me as pictures. If you turn a picture that's not well organized upside down, it won't work."

18.12.10

"Farto também estou das tuas idéias claras e distintas a respeito de muitas outras coisas, e é só pra contrabalançar tua lucidez que confesso aqui minha confusão, mas não conclua daí qualquer sugestão de equilíbrio, menos ainda que eu esteja traindo uma suposta fé na "ordem", afinal, vai longe o tempo em que eu mesmo acreditava no propalado arranjo universal (que uns colocam no começo da história, e outros, como você, colocam no fim dela), e hoje, se ponho o olho fora da janela, além do incontido arroto, ainda fico espantado com este mundo simulado que não perde essa mania de fingir que está de pé."

15.12.10

"Há muito tempo que não só não escrevo, mas nem sequer existo. Creio que mal sonho. As ruas são ruas para mim. Faço o trabalho do escritório com consciência só para ele, mas não direi bem sem me distrair: por detrás estou, em vez de meditando, dormindo, porém estou sempre outro por detrás do trabalho.

Há muito tempo que não existo. Estou sossegadíssimo. Ninguém me distingue de quem sou. Senti-me agora respirar como se houvesse praticado uma coisa nova, ou atrasada. Começo a ter consciência de ter consciência. Talvez amanhã desperte para mim mesmo, e reate o curso da minha existência própria. Não sei se, com isso, serei mais feliz ou menos. Não sei (...)

Há muito tempo que não sou eu."

13.12.10

"You could say that we are like porridge. First we're like small oat flakes - small, dry, fragile, alone. But then we're cooked with the other oat flakes and become soft. We join so that one flake can't be told apart from another. We're almost dissolved. Together we become a big porridge that's warm, tasty, and nutritious and yes, quite beautiful, too. So we are no longer small and isolated but we have become warm, soft, and joined together. Part of something bigger than ourselves. Sometimes life feels like an enormous porridge, don't you think? Sorry, I'm standing around dreaming."

8.12.10

"Who said that time heals all wounds? It would be better to say that time heals everything - except wounds. With time, the hurt of separation loses its real limits. With time, the desired body will soon disappear, and if the desiring body has already ceased to exist for the other, then what remains is a wound, disembodied."

2.12.10

"The 'broken' buries itself deeper into memory than the 'whole'. The 'broken' has a kind of brittle surface which one's memory can grab hold to. On the clean surface of the 'whole', memory slips away."